The Small Talk Guy

It’s Time to Sharpen Up Your Holiday Party Networking Skills

2011-12-05T15:08:00.001-08:00

“Holiday parties can be more than just fun—they offer networking opportunities to boost your career, build your business, or even increase your revenue.

I recommends that you be an active networker at social and business holiday parties, but he cautions, “Don’t be a networking shark, non-stop talker or know-it-all. These annoying networkers turn off just about everyone.”

Other common networking mistakes include:

* Only chatting with your colleagues or friends. (This comes off as being cliquish and uninterested in others.)
* Waiting for others to approach you. (This makes you appear snobbish or unfriendly.)
* Bad-mouthing your competitors or grousing about your boss, coworkers or company. (No one wants to network with complainers.)

Finally, a common mistake—especially for those new to the workplace—is thinking that the office party is an opportunity to let down your hair and let it all hang out. Nothing can ruin a budding or even established career faster than cutting lose at the holiday office party in a way that has people saying, "Can you believe what ... said (or did) at the party?"

Are you with the media? If so request a review copy of How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends and book an interview with Don Gabor. Please contact him at 718-768-0824 or don@dongabor.com

What if you send a LinkedIn invite to someone who doesn't respond?

2011-11-09T12:04:00.000-08:00

I recently received this question via LinkedIn: What if you send a LinkedIn invite to someone you have not networked with in a while and they do not respond? What then? What's a appropriate way to respond?

Dear LinkedIn User:

Some people don’t pay enough attention to or respond quickly to LinkedIn invitations. You can try to reconnect with long-lost contacts via a direct email or telephone. If you have a specific reason such as a question to ask or topic to bring up, it will make the conversation go more smoothly. For example, perhaps you saw the person’s name mentioned in a blog, listed as a speaker at an tech conference or given an award. I’m sure a call to say congratulations would be welcome. Or, if all else fails, just say,

“Hi … this is … We met at …. It’s been so long since we saw each other last, I thought I contact you and see what you’re up to these days. Do you have a few minutes to chat?”

If your past relationship was good, most people will probably respond positively. If not, then maybe it’s time to look to connect with someone else who is more receptive.

BACK TO SCHOOL --IT’S TIME TO OPEN THE BOOKS AND START NEW FRIENDSHIPS

2011-08-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

“No matter if you are in high school or college, everyone’s a little nervous on the first day of classes! It’s natural, especially if you are new to the school.” says Don Gabor, "small talk" expert and author of the updated and newly revised, How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends (Simon & Schuster/Touchstone 2011).

The trick to getting over the awkward silent moments is to be the first to break the ice and start a conversation. “As the saying goes,” Gabor points out, “it’s not what you say—it’s how you say it. Once the conversation gets going then both of you will feel more at ease and open to getting to know one another better.

Here are several more tips for making and keeping friends.

10 STEPS FOR MAKING AND KEEPING FRIENDS

1. Be the first to say hello and introduce yourself.
2. Ask a question, make a light comment, or offer a sincere compliment.
3. Listen and ask follow-up questions about what interests you.
4. Reveal information so a new friend knows your interests.
5. Talk about common interests and experiences.
6. Spend time together in school studying, eating lunch, or playing a sporting activity.
7. Introduce a new friend to some of your other friends.
8. Work on a school project together.
9. Spend time together outside of school.
10. Talk via email, on social networks, the telephone and face-to-face as much as possible.

10 TIPS TO WIN FRIENDS FOR LIFE

F = Find friends who share your interests.
R = Respect your friend's feelings and opinions.
I = Invite a new friend to join you and your other friends in fun activities.
E = Encourage friendly conversation and openness.
N = Never reveal a friend's secret -- to anyone!
D = Don't drop old friends for new friends.
S = Stand up for your friend if someone else puts him or her down.
H = Have patience with your friends.
I = Increase the amount of time you spend together.
P = Patch up little spats before they turn into major arguments.

Don Gabor was a spokesperson for Grand Marnier, Sprint and Frito-Lay. He has given hundreds of media interviews in publications including NY News Day, NY Times, Daily News, Woman’s Day, Self, Redbook, Men's Health, Entrepreneur, Success, Woman’s World, National Enquirer, Readers Digest, and many other newspapers and magazines of interest to men and women. The New Yorker called Don, "a gifted conversationalist." He was the 2010-2011 president of the New York City chapter of the National Speakers Association.

To find out more about Don Gabor visit him at www.dongabor.com. or email him at don@dongabor.com.

8 NETWORKING GOALS FOR JANUARY 2011

2011-01-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

"Start your networking goals in January and they will pay off all year long,” according to networking and small talk expert, Don Gabor—author of the goal-setting book,

Big Things Happen When You Do the Little Things Right*

(* Get a PDF copy of this book for $2.99!--go to http://www.dongabor.com/ or click on the link below.)

Starting NOW:

1. Save networking dates. Mark your 2011 calendar for at least one networking event a month including business meetings, social events, workshops, and other industry or career related conferences or meetings.

2. Make new or re-establish contacts. Set yourself a goal of making 1-5 new professional contacts a month either in person or via the Internet. Reconnecting with old contacts count! If you start now that will yield 12-60 new contacts by the end of 2011!

3. Follow-up with recent contacts. January is the perfect time to send emails, make calls or mail promised information to the contacts you met at recent events like the past conferences or holiday parties.

4. Refer clients or assistance to colleagues. January is a time that most people make an effort to get things done so your efforts to help your colleagues and friends will most certainly be appreciated and remembered all year long.

5. Get professionally printed business cards. The answer to, “How can I get in touch with you?” is “Here’s my card.” It’s easy and cheap to have professionally printed business cards. (Business cards printed on home printers look amateurish.) Do a search for “business cards” and get them done right.

6. Get involved. Join professional and civic associations and volunteer to help in the monthly meetings. The professional and social relationships you begin in January will strengthen all year long.

7. Start your list of networking goals for 2011. Effective networking begins with clearly defined goals. Start a list now and you will be pleasantly surprised to see how many you can accomplish by the end of 2011.

8. Practice your conversation and networking skills every day. If meeting people and making conversation at networking events doesn’t come natural to you, consider reading my book, How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends and start improving your connecting skills right away—it’s easier than you think and can really accelerate your career.

To get more done in 2011 in your professional, social and personal life read:

Big Things Happen When You Do the Little Things Right by Don Gabor

E-BOOK PDF FORMAT DOWNLOAD! $2.99

http://dongabor.com/shopsite_sc/shopping_cart/order.cgi?storeid=*125ffcada5740d76d7402a&dbname=products&itemnum=6&function=add

Make Holiday Parties Profitable

2010-11-25T12:34:00.000-08:00

Holiday office parties can be fun and even profitable, but they can also be deadly for your career if you don't watch what you say--or don't say!

1. THE MOST COMMON MISTAKE? Thinking the office party is a social event where you can let down your hair and let it all hang out. Nothing can ruin a budding or even established career faster than cutting lose at the holiday party in a way that keeps your coworkers saying for weeks, "Can you believe what ...said to ...at the party?"

2. MOST COMMON PARTY ETIQUETTE MISTAKE? Who should extend the hand first, the man or the woman? 50+ year-old etiquette said the man should wait for the woman to offer her hand, but today either the man or woman can take the initiative to shake hands. My advice is to extend your hand at the moment of introduction no matter who you meet.

Other mistakes to avoid:

3. Only chatting with your officemates. This comes off as being cliquish and uninterested in others.

4. Waiting for others to approach you. This makes you appear unapproachable and unfriendly.

5. Revealing too much personal information about problems at home, work or in relationships. This instantly translates to needy and insecure.

6. Only talking about yourself. This is the fastest way to bore others to tears!

7. Complain about your boss, company or coworkers. It may be well-deserved, but never "bite the hand that feeds you."

8. Getting "too friendly" with a coworker during the office party. This suggests that you don't understand boundaries and will quickly turn you into a workplace pariah.

Don Gabor is a communications trainer and the author of seven other books including the best-seller, How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends. He was a spokesperson for Grand Marnier, Sprint and Frito-Lay. His books have been featured in NY Newsday, NY Times, Daily News, Men's Health, Entrepreneur, Success, Investor's Daily and many other national and trade magazines, plus his book was featured on "60 Minutes with Andy Rooney" and on many other TV and radio programs. The New Yorker called Don, "a gifted conversationalist."

2010-04-21T19:20:00.000-07:00

Keep Your Foot Out of Your Mouth When Making Small Talk at Conferences

By Don Gabor

The way I see it, all speaking is public speaking—whether you are presenting a speech at a local business club or making small talk with your colleagues and clients at a networking event. However, make one of the following conversation faux pas at the networking event and your career and professional image could be headed for trouble. Here are the most common and career-crunching mistakes.

1. Making inappropriate comments—even in jest

Nothing can ruin a budding or even established career faster at a conference than “letting your hair down” in a way that keeps your colleagues whispering, "Can you believe what he said?" Of course, using sexual innuendos or telling off-color jokes is a sure-fire way to attract attention, but not the kind that will boost your career. This faux pas can quickly send your prospects for advancement into a downward spiral. Never forget that the conferences — even for informal groups — is a business, not social, situation where most of the rules of business etiquette apply.

2. Not shaking hands with the opposite sex

Do you hesitate to offer to shake hands when you meet a member of the opposite sex? You might be surprised, but plenty of people are confused about this critical part of introductions at conferences. Blame it on 50+ year-old etiquette that instructed gentlemen to wait for ladies to first extend their hand, but that is about as passé as ladies dropping a hankie to start a conversation with a handsome passerby! Today, not offering to shake hands with a member of the opposite sex will peg men as sexist and women as unsure of themselves. Therefore, at today’s business conferences and everywhere else, for that matter—excluding for religious, cultural or physical reasons—both men or women should take the initiative to shake hands with everyone they meet.

3. Chatting for too long with your officemates

Shooting the breeze for a few minutes at conferences with your colleagues is all part of the fun, but if you stay ensconced in your closed circle of friends for too long, new coworkers, prospects or others will quickly cast you and your colleagues as cliquish, disinterested and not open to outsiders. Also, staying in one place too long, whether you are talking to someone or nibbling on the appetizers will make you appear shy, self-conscious and lacking confidence. It’s better to briefly chat with your buddies and then move to different areas of the room to introduce yourself to others you want to get to know better.

4. Asking more than three closed-ended questions in a row

“Do you work at our office?” “How long have you worked here?” “Who is your supervisor?” Yikes! You’re having a light chat—not a job interview or interrogation! Asking three or more closed ended questions in a row will certainly stifle any conversation, make others feel uncomfortable and definitely not win you any communication awards. Instead, show interest and a desire to find common interests by asking open-ended questions that encourage others to elaborate and reveal free information. Then based on what you hear that interests you, respond with follow-up questions and information of your own.

5. Talking too much or too little about yourself

“So enough about my job! Let me show you a picture of my kids (cats, car, etc.)!” Sure people love to talk about themselves, their pets, kids and grandchildren, but if you are the one doing all the talking, you could be boring the other guests to tears! On the other hand, if you are too tight-lipped, then people may see you as secretive, defensive or lacking interest and enthusiasm. The remedy here is to exchange information about various light subjects at about the same rate so that you both know what each other enjoys and likes to talk about.

6. Complaining or gossiping about colleagues or clients

You might be tempted and it may even be well-deserved, but never get involved in a gripe session about a colleague or client while attending a confernece. As obvious as this blunder is, people seem to do it all the time, especially after a few drinks. Even if you’re not the one making the crass remarks, if word gets back to the “offending person” you will still pay the price long after the party is over. If possible, politely excuse yourself from the conversation as quickly as possible. However, if you find yourself stuck with this group, then take the initiative and bring up something that moves the discussion to a more positive topic.

7. Talking about politics or controversial subjects

It never fails—there always seems to be at least one person at the event who likes to snag colleagues into heavy political “discussions” or offer longwinded lectures about his or her pet social issues. The trap often begins with the seemingly innocent words, “Don’t you think that …?” or “In my humble opinion ….” or “You people always …!” However, if you rebut with even a few words you’ll be in for an earful—and not the kind of conversation that most people at business conferences enjoy. Furthermore, discussing controversial topics in this situation often polarizes people who otherwise get along. The best thing to say when someone brings up a political or controversial subject at the office party is to say, “I never discuss politics or those topics at work.” Then it’s up to you to change the discussion to a less volatile topic.

Conferences Offer Golden Opportunities to Hone Your Small Talk Skills

Conferences are a great place to make small talk, establish rapport and build better relationships with your colleagues, acquaintances and clients. When you talk about light, upbeat subjects that lead to sharing common professional and personal interests, goals and experiences you’ll have plenty to talk about while boosting your career and honing your communication skills!

Don Gabor is a professional speaker and the author of eight books including the longtime best-seller How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends. His newest book, TURN SMALL TALK INTO BIG DEALS: Using 4 Key Conversation Styles to Customize Your Networking Approach, Build Relationships and Win More Clients was published by McGraw-Hill Professional in 2009.

Contact Don at 718-768-0824, don@dongabor.com or www.dongabor.com.
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Small Talk at Reunions Causing You Grief?

2009-07-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

If the thought of going to your high school or college reunion sends you running for cover, then consider this. Everyone changes over the years, so why worry if you’ve put on a little weight or lost some hair? The fact is that high school and college reunions are fun-filled social events that also offer many opportunities to gently network for business with people who share some of your history, and who are eager to hear your updated autobiography.

After years of not seeing old classmates, it’s easy to re-introduce yourself, find out what they do (or did) for a living, what they like to do now for fun, where they spend their time, efforts and money. Tell others the “short highlights” version what you’ve been doing for the last umpteen years with only a passing reference to any bad patches. As you listen and exchange information about your current activities, goals, children, hobbies and other pursuits, be sure to let these people know that you’re still in business and how you can help others achieve their goals.

As you reconnect with old friends and classmates, take mental notes of the people and their adult kids who went into businesses similar to your customers and clients. While these folks may be your target prospects during regular business hours, at the reunion they are old classmates first, and potential customers second. However, once the event is over, you can seek them out like you would any other potential customers.

Topics that Most People Like to Talk About at Reunions

Kids & family, Business, Retirement, Old & new projects, Hobbies, Travel, Personal passions, Old friends, Alumni organizations, Living one’s dream, sports, vacations, fitness, food, outdoor cooking, gardening, home renovations

Here are 7 Ways to Reconnect with Old Friends at Reunions

* Be ready to give a brief answer to "What have you been doing all these years?"
* Ask the person to join you for a cocktail, coffee or snack so you can have more time to talk.
* Reconnect over old interests and forge new connections with new interests.
* Reveal your new dreams and goals so your old friends still know what's important to you.
* Invite old and new friends to get-togethers outside the reunion's official events.
* Exchange more personal (but not too much!) information.
* Say how you are going to remain in contact, and then follow through on your promise.

Here are a few don’ts when you talk to people at reunions:

* Don’t brag about your accomplishments.
* Don’t tell your life story.
* Don’t downplay your business dreams.
* Don’t go into excruciating detail about your business.

How about a few easy opening lines at reunions. Remember it’s not so much what you say, it’s how you say it!

“So tell me, what have you been doing all these years?”
“Hi! I’m …. We were in the same class.”
“Do you know how I can get in touch with …?”
“I see that you live in … What’s it like there?”
“This is my first reunion and is it ever interesting!”
“I can’t begin to imagine how much work it must be to organize a reunion!”
“I found out a genealogy website that helps people find their long-lost relatives.”
“Do you know much about your family genealogy?”
“I’m thinking of organizing a family reunion. Do you know an organization who can help?”

Want to talk business at your reunion? Here are some conversational bridges to business topics.

“I read your bio in the reunion book and saw that you in the … business. I’m looking for someone who does what you do.”
“I’m a journalist. Have you heard any good reunion stories?”
“Do you know a hotel who can give our school a good rate for our upcoming reunion?”
“My oldest daughter is in your field. Do you mind if I give her your number?”
“Since we are in the same business, do you want to get together and compare notes?”
“It never occurred to me how big the reunion business is.”
“I want to create a family cookbook from our reunion. Do you know anyone in the publishing business?”

One more thing: Definitely avoid these “taboo topics”!

* rekindle old arguments * remind others of past indiscretions * gossip about old rivals * make remarks about cosmetic surgery, age, weight, hair (or lack thereof) * ask more than one question about a messy divorce * talk too much about oneself * flirt with an old flame who is happily married * bring up marital problems * tell sad personal stories * criticize the food or reunion organizers

Finally, go to have fun--and that's exactly what will happen! If you have any questions or want suggestions on what to say to a particular person at the reunion, email me at don@dongabor.com.

Valentine Tip 4 WAYS TO ATTRACT OTHERS -- WITHOUT WORDS!

2009-01-21T11:48:00.000-08:00

“Hey, didn’t I see you on the cover of Cosmo (or Men's Health)?” "Are you a model?" or "Didn't we meet on a (nude) beach?" How many times have you heard (or said) corny opening lines like these? No question about it, they show chutzpa, but do they really impress others?

Probably not! Studies show that over 70% of face-to-face communication is non-verbal and your body language speaks before you do. So be sure to send the right kinds of silent signals before you open your mouth.

Here are four easy ways to attract others without words:

1. Make eye contact – This is usually the first non-verbal signal that shows interest. Hold the person’s gaze for a few extra seconds, but don’t stare.
2. Give a gentle smile – This is the second non-verbal signal that says you are friendly. No Cheshire cat grins, please!
3. Keep your arms unfolded – This non-defensive posture shows that you are receptive and open to contact.
4. Make your approach – Moving within 3 – 5 feet of the other person shows confidence and a desire to make contact.

Then the next steps are to:

• Break the ice naturally based on your surroundings.
• Get the other person talking with an easy-to-answer question.
• Build instant rapport and trust by exchanging background information.
• Introduce yourself and make a connection by identifying common interests.

Here are a few FAQs

Q: What's the trick to attracting people?
A: Show interest in others in a positive and natural way without being overly aggressive.

Q: Why do people get nervous when they talk to others they find attractive?
A: Trying too hard to impress others makes everyone uncomfortable. Just be yourself and keep your conversations light and easy.

Q What’s the key to being confident with someone you want to impress?
A: Be engaging and conversational by focusing on easy to talk about topics. Nothing heavy or too complicated.

Q: What do you say after you say hello and how do you keep the conversation going?
A: Listen for key words, phrases and "hot buttons" that call out for follow-up questions and comments. Talk about what interests you and the other person.

Q: When is the right time to introduce yourself?
A: The sooner the better. Introduce yourself withint he first few minutes or at the first pause in the conversation.

Keep this big point in mind when it comes to attacting others...it's not just what you say, it's how you say it. Makw other feel that you care about their opinions, ideas and feelings and they'll find YOU more attractive.

Making Office Holiday Parties Pay Big Off With Small Talk

2008-12-08T13:39:00.000-08:00

Making Office Holiday Parties Pay Big Off With Small Talk

Networking at an office party with your peers can pay off with better working relationships, increased opportunities to move up in your company and make more new friends.

However, if you are like a lot of people in today’s large offices, you may not know many of the people who work on the same floor as you, only nod to those you pass in the hall, or silently ride in the elevator with them each day. Attending the holiday office party gives you permission to breakthrough that invisible barrier that often separates people at work and say hello, start a conversation, discover mutual interests and, hopefully, help one another, either directly or indirectly, achieve your goals.

Holiday office parties with clients provide even greater opportunities for meeting new prospects and deepening existing relationships. During the holiday party you can sincerely express your gratitude for your client’s business, chat about his or her future and discuss business challenges and projects for the coming year. Capitalize on your client’s holiday spirit and if you truly have provided value to your client over the past year, consider asking him or her for a referral, testimonial or advice about a particular goal or activity you wish to pursue.

While holiday office parties have a huge potential for achieving your networking goals, bear in mind that they are not social events, but rather slightly less formal business functions that follow the basic rules of business etiquette. In other words, never do or say anything at a holiday office party that you wouldn’t want your mother to know about or that you might have to apologize for the next day. In addition, although many people enjoy socializing at the holiday office party, most shy coworkers and clients generally dread having to attend this annual function, and are often only there out of obligation. Plus, there are some people, for one reason or another, that simply do not enjoy the holiday season. To effectively network with these people, keep your conversation light and low key so you can put them at ease as quickly as possible.

Topics that Most Networkers Like to Talk About at Office Holiday Parties

vacation plans, personal goals, projects, resolutions, family reunions, holiday and religious celebrations, food, music, sports and entertainment, past and future business projects, home renovations, unique gifts and charities, ways to celebrate

Taboo Topics in Office Parties

 gory crimes  war  political corruption  pollution  poverty  medical problems
 personal, money, family, job problems  sad stories  office gossip  poor management decisions  past over indulgences  pressuring bosses for a promotion or raise  hard-selling your side business products or services

If you have any questions, please contact me at 718-768-0824 or don@dongabor.com. For more information about how I can help you connect with people at home, work and everywhere in between, please visit my website at www.dongabor.com.

Why I Think “Change” Should be the Name for the Obama’s New Puppy

2008-11-09T14:57:00.000-08:00

First, President-Elect Obama promised to bring change to the White House. With a new puppy named "Change" he can deliver on his campaign pledge right away without spending a bundle, especially if his family adopts a puppy from a shelter, in which case its nickname could be “Spare Change.” Spare or otherwise, with "Change" running around in the White House, the pup will always remind the winning Democrat why voters put him there in the first place and that retreating to the old ways of Washington will only come back to bite him. And speaking of biting, when the little yapper gnaws on an electrical cord or some other equally tantalizing, yet taboo item, that'll be a warning for our nation’s new leader not to bite off more than he can chew, or he may be in for a nasty shock. And finally, of course, presidential pups of all breeds are prone to pee everywhere until they are paper-trained and then taken out into the Rose Garden to do their business. This call of nature illustrates one of the most important lessons in government for President Obama, particularly since his astronomically expensive agenda is not filibuster-proof: If you are going to piddle on the Republicans, it’s better not to do it in the House.

Now that is “Change” I can believe in.

Don Gabor

3 Things You Must Immediately Do When a Relative Picks a Fight with You This Thanksgiving

2008-10-29T14:22:00.000-07:00

No doubt about it –– there’s going to be some political fireworks between relatives this Thanksgiving. For those people whose candidates won, unbridled gloating will come especially easy. For the losers, predictions of doom and gloom will precede charges of cheating, voter fraud and –– if things get out of hand like they have a habit of doing after a few glasses of wine –– a litany of attacks on you, your candidate and the winning party.

Here are 3 things you must immediately do when your sore loser relative throws down the gauntlet.

1. Don’t react. Do nothing. Say nothing. Keep your face absolutely blank. This infuriates sore losers since their goal is to get you into an argument so they can vent their anger and prove to you that your vote was a horrible mistake.

2. Stay silent and give your relative your best-befuddled look as you shift your gaze upwards and shake your head from side to side. This body language says, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” This will drive them to distraction since they can’t fight with you if you don’t respond to their arguments.

3. Finally, let a big grin spread over your face as you let these honey-drenched words slip from your lips: “Well, you know what they always used to say in Brooklyn when the Dodgers lost? Wait’ll next year!” Then with toothy grin, change the topic to something completely unrelated to politics. Exasperated, your frustrated cantankerous relative will probably give up and go try to pick a fight with someone else. What a turkey!

Avoid Tactless Comments at Wedding Receptions

2008-05-28T12:36:00.000-07:00

Don’t be a Boor! Avoid these 10 Tactless Comments at
Wedding Receptions

Now is the time to sharpen your conversational skills so you can mingle with poise and confidence at upcoming wedding receptions. It's easy to be good at small talk and avoid being a boor. Before you go to the wedding reception, take a minute and consider topics you are willing to discuss with the other guests. Keep them light, fun and upbeat! Of course, since you never know who you might be talking to, NEVER SAY:

1. "I hope this marriage lasts longer than his/her last one."
2. "If you ask me, they're making a big mistake."
3. "This will be the happiest day of their lives."
4. "His/her ex- was a lot better looking and had more money, too!"
5. "This food isn't as good as the food at the last wedding I went to."
6. "I hate cheap champagne. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers!"
7. "I bet this wedding and reception cost a bundle. How can they afford it?"
8. "I wonder if she is ... well you know ...."
9. "When it comes to choosing a spouse, he/she could have done better."
10. "No doubt about it — she/he married him/her for the money."

What are the most tactless things you’ve heard people say at a wedding reception?

For free conversation sheets, visit dongabor.com

Avoid Political Blow-ups at Memorial Day BBQs

2008-05-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

Talking Politics at Memorial Day BBQs?

If you're like lots of people this weekend, you'll be talking politics at BBQs. But are you persuading your friends, family, coworkers and neighbors that your favorite candidate is the best choice or are you simply offending -- or even worse -- making political enemies? When you hear an opinion with which you disagree, instead of getting into a political argument, use one of these "escape lines" and avoid a blow-up:

1. "I have a different view of the situation."
2. "Let's agree to disagree."
3. “I don’t think this is the time or place to get into a political argument.”
4. "I think we more or less agree on the goals, it's our ways of getting there are different."
5. "Our views probably have more in common than you might think."
6. "I agree with some of what you say."
7. "My experience is different than what you describe."
8. "I'm not coming from the same place as you."
9. "I see your point."
10. "I don't agree with you, but I forgive you anyway."(with a smile)

Please write me your experiences or questions about discussing politics at parties this weekend.

-- Don Gabor

Please visit my website at www.dongabor.com