What Do You Say After “Hello” at a Networking Event or Even on an Airplane?

The room is packed and the business cards are flying. Before you stands a potential client who fits perfectly into all of your target demographics. Knowing what to say after “Hello” to this person might make the difference between earning some valuable business and merely accumulating another business card.

The good news is that there are potential conversations all around you--if you are willing to take the risk and start the conversation. For example, if you are at a business networking event and happen to be near the food table you can ask “How’s that guacamole?” Or, if you are looking at the speaker’s promo materials you can ask, “What brought you to the event?” Working your way out from the food to the speaker to anything in the room is fair game for conversation.

Another useful technique for keeping a conversation interesting and fresh is the smart use of ritual questions. A ritual question is a commonly-asked question that is typically easy to answer like “Where do you live?” They are handy for a couple of reasons:

• They allow for other topics to be introduced into the conversation.
• They reveal supporting information about yourself to the other person.
• Answering ritual questions shows that you are willing to open up to the other person.
  

When it is your turn to answer a ritual question, consider it an opportunity to show you have a genuine interest in the other person by revealing some information that was not specifically asked about. This extra information is called free information and encourages follow-up questions and additional comments. 

For example, in response to the question “Did you grow up here?” which of the following two responses suggests that the speaker wants to engage with you?

A) “No.” or “Yes. ” or “Why do you want to know?”

B) “No, I grew up in ______________, but I’ve been living and working here for years and loving every minute of it.”

A good conversationalist will choose option B because it not only seems friendlier, but adding free information will give the other person multiple avenues to continue the conversation.

Body language is also a powerful ally to help keep a person engaged after you say hello. In the phrase book of body language, the most important is “eye contact.” If you do not make eye contact with a new acquaintance, it gives off the impression that you are distracted or have something to hide. People also relate to a person’s smile. It doesn’t have to be a big, Hollywood smile, but what I call a gentle smile. Combining a gentle smile with eye contact and a simple nod of the head sends out a signal of approval that what you are hearing is resonating in you in some way--and will keep a conversation going and opportunities flowing.

The chance to make a new connection can come and go in the blink of an eye.

What if a random stranger within earshot of you starts talking about something you are passionate about? Knowing what to say after you say hello will give you the confidence to start conversations with strangers anywhere--even on an airplane! For example, not long ago I was on a flight when I heard two people chatting about a “TED-Talk” they were on their way to see. (TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design) After they finished their conversation I followed one of the gentleman back to his seat, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hello. Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation a moment ago. Do you mind if I ask you a question about something I heard you say?”

After chatting for about 10 minutes, we exchanged business cards and we both had a new business contact. Knowing what to say after “Hello” gave me the opportunity and confidence to “network at 30,000 feet.” Imagine what your potential could be using these small talk techniques over the course of a few hours at a networking event on terra firma.

Don Gabor
Conversation Arts Media 
www.dongabor.com 
don@dongabor.com
(718)768-0824

Making Office Holiday Parties Pay Big Off With Small Talk

Making Office Holiday Parties Pay Big Off With Small Talk

Networking at an office party with your peers can pay off with better working relationships, increased opportunities to move up in your company and make more new friends.

However, if you are like a lot of people in today’s large offices, you may not know many of the people who work on the same floor as you, only nod to those you pass in the hall, or silently ride in the elevator with them each day. Attending the holiday office party gives you permission to breakthrough that invisible barrier that often separates people at work and say hello, start a conversation, discover mutual interests and, hopefully, help one another, either directly or indirectly, achieve your goals.

Holiday office parties with clients provide even greater opportunities for meeting new prospects and deepening existing relationships. During the holiday party you can sincerely express your gratitude for your client’s business, chat about his or her future and discuss business challenges and projects for the coming year. Capitalize on your client’s holiday spirit and if you truly have provided value to your client over the past year, consider asking him or her for a referral, testimonial or advice about a particular goal or activity you wish to pursue.

While holiday office parties have a huge potential for achieving your networking goals, bear in mind that they are not social events, but rather slightly less formal business functions that follow the basic rules of business etiquette. In other words, never do or say anything at a holiday office party that you wouldn’t want your mother to know about or that you might have to apologize for the next day. In addition, although many people enjoy socializing at the holiday office party, most shy coworkers and clients generally dread having to attend this annual function, and are often only there out of obligation. Plus, there are some people, for one reason or another, that simply do not enjoy the holiday season. To effectively network with these people, keep your conversation light and low key so you can put them at ease as quickly as possible.

Topics that Most Networkers Like to Talk About at Office Holiday Parties

vacation plans, personal goals, projects, resolutions, family reunions, holiday and religious celebrations, food, music, sports and entertainment, past and future business projects, home renovations, unique gifts and charities, ways to celebrate

Taboo Topics in Office Parties

 gory crimes  war  political corruption  pollution  poverty  medical problems
 personal, money, family, job problems  sad stories  office gossip  poor management decisions  past over indulgences  pressuring bosses for a promotion or raise  hard-selling your side business products or services

If you have any questions, please contact me at 718-768-0824 or don@dongabor.com. For more information about how I can help you connect with people at home, work and everywhere in between, please visit my website at www.dongabor.com.