Networking at 30,000 Feet Can Pay Off Big Time

If you are like a lot of road warriors you spend a lot of time in airports and on airplanes. But you can turn high-flying travel time into a goldmine for meeting new people and making valuable additions to your professional network. Here’s how:

When you first to board the plane take this opportunity to set a friendly tone with the passengers seated around you. Say hello to your neighbors as soon as they “move in.” This is an easy way to break the ice and establish how receptive they may be to conversation. If your seatmate cracks open a book or pulls out some work, be patient. Chances are, you’ll have an opportunity to chat later on in the flight.

If you get the green light to gab from the person, open the conversation with small talk. I often ask, “What takes you to …?” If I get a positive response I pursue it further.

For example, on a recent flight I said “Hello” to the passenger seated next to me and added, “I’m happy to be heading home! Which way are you going—home or away?” Her smile and friendly response, “I’m traveling for business,” was all I needed to continue the conversation. “What kind of business are you in?” I asked. She said, “Selling stuff but my real passion is mentoring girls and young women for scholarship pageants.” After I learned that the contestants have to make short speeches I said, “I’m a professional speaker. Maybe I can help your contestants.”

Through the course of our conversation, born from a simple “Hello,” we each made a business contact and expanded our professional network.

Here are some more tips for Networking at 30,000 feet:

       

• Say “Hello” to your seatmates right away.
• Show an interest in where they are going and who they are.

• Keep your conversation light—don’t try to push a business-related conversation until you know that he or she shares your business interests.
• Be patient and respectful if your seatmate appears busy or not interested in chatting.

• If you do share a business interest, introduce yourself and offer to exchange business cards.
• Keep your voices low. It never hurts to be even more courteous than usual—extra manners go a long way in tight spaces!
• Follow-up within a week via email, telephone or social media.

You never know who you are seated next to on an airplane until you start a conversation. Of course, every situation is unique and judgment plays a large role when you network at 30,000 feet. Some passengers plan certain tasks to do while they are in the air, and it would be rude to disturb them. But if you’re looking to network with other professionals there are few other places with a more diverse collection of business people than on an airplane...all waiting for you to say “Hello”!

Do you have a “networking at 30,000 feet” success story you’d like to share? If so, please use the comment box. If it’s good I might use it in my next book (and give you the credit!)

For more information about how Don Gabor can speak at your upcoming meeting please contact him at 718-768-0824 or don@dongabor.com.  

Don Gabor Conversation Arts Media Dongabor.com
Don@dongabor.com 
718-768-0824

IT Pros: How Can You Avoid Putting Your Foot in Your Mouth?

Let's face it--as a rule, IT pros are not known for their conversation prowess or tact. Techies like to say what's on their mind no matter who they are talking to or what situation they are in.

Chances are, you probably know a techie or two who have made big verbal blunders that left the people they were talking to--and everyone in the room--cringing.

Of course, there are the savvy IT Pros (the motivated ones who want to get ahead in their careers) who know that one way to avoid putting their foot in their mouth is to not bring up "taboo topics."

The most common taboo topics in polite conversation are:

• Politics, Religion, or Sex (The big three!)
• Gory news events
• Unfortunate personal issues or gossip
• Business Intelligence or Proprietary Information 

Yes, these topics are important and interesting. But they are best to avoid discussing in business and social situations simply because they can lead to arguments, bring conversation to a halt, make people uncomfortable, or all the aforementioned. 

What if you say the wrong thing?

If you are the one who has asked an uncomfortable question or brings up a taboo topic and you realize it, do everyone a favor and don’t press the issue. For example, if you made the mistake of asking about a job the person no longer has, don’t ask why. All that is needed is a simple “I’m sorry to hear that,” or “Are you looking for something else? What are you up to now?” 
 
If you find yourself embarrassed by a fleeting, tactless comment you have made off the cuff, don’t dig the hole deeper by ignoring the fact that you’ve just put your foot in your mouth. The best response is, “I’m really sorry, that was a thoughtless thing to say, I apologize,” and then change the subject. The idea is to acknowledge you said it and then move the topic of conversation to something more positive.

What if somebody asks you a question that makes you feel uncomfortable?

There are a couple of ways to handle uncomfortable questions. One is to be ready. If something unfortunate has happened in your life that you can anticipate people will ask about--losing your job, a divorce or a death in the family--be ready with some kind of response. Often it will suffice to give a short answer, and then move off the subject.

 
For example, "Yes, that was unfortunate, but I've moved on. So what have you been up to lately?"

Pumping a Competitor for Business Intelligence is a No-No!

Some IT Pros can be tactless especially when it comes to asking their colleagues about business intelligence. For example, if you are attending IT conference and someone from another company or competing business asks you some BI questions about your company's new server or proprietary software you can say, "Sorry but I really can't discuss that with you. It's confidential." If the person persists by saying, "Come on, you can tell me," you can respond with, "No, I can't. Like I said, it's confidential."

Saying “No” is an important assertive action when dealing with taboo topics because certain information is no one else’s business. You can feel good about being polite, yet firm.

Awkward conversations pop up in many social and business situations for IT Pros. To show your ability to navigate business and social situations, avoid bringing up taboo topics, and when uncomfortable exchanges do occur, gracefully redirect them to more positive and appropriate topics.

For more information about having Don speak to your IT department, meet-up group or at your upcoming event please contact him at:

Don Gabor
Conversation Arts Media
Dongabor.com
Don@dongabor.com
718-768-0824

What Do You Say After “Hello” at a Networking Event or Even on an Airplane?

The room is packed and the business cards are flying. Before you stands a potential client who fits perfectly into all of your target demographics. Knowing what to say after “Hello” to this person might make the difference between earning some valuable business and merely accumulating another business card.

The good news is that there are potential conversations all around you--if you are willing to take the risk and start the conversation. For example, if you are at a business networking event and happen to be near the food table you can ask “How’s that guacamole?” Or, if you are looking at the speaker’s promo materials you can ask, “What brought you to the event?” Working your way out from the food to the speaker to anything in the room is fair game for conversation.

Another useful technique for keeping a conversation interesting and fresh is the smart use of ritual questions. A ritual question is a commonly-asked question that is typically easy to answer like “Where do you live?” They are handy for a couple of reasons:

• They allow for other topics to be introduced into the conversation.
• They reveal supporting information about yourself to the other person.
• Answering ritual questions shows that you are willing to open up to the other person.
  

When it is your turn to answer a ritual question, consider it an opportunity to show you have a genuine interest in the other person by revealing some information that was not specifically asked about. This extra information is called free information and encourages follow-up questions and additional comments. 

For example, in response to the question “Did you grow up here?” which of the following two responses suggests that the speaker wants to engage with you?

A) “No.” or “Yes. ” or “Why do you want to know?”

B) “No, I grew up in ______________, but I’ve been living and working here for years and loving every minute of it.”

A good conversationalist will choose option B because it not only seems friendlier, but adding free information will give the other person multiple avenues to continue the conversation.

Body language is also a powerful ally to help keep a person engaged after you say hello. In the phrase book of body language, the most important is “eye contact.” If you do not make eye contact with a new acquaintance, it gives off the impression that you are distracted or have something to hide. People also relate to a person’s smile. It doesn’t have to be a big, Hollywood smile, but what I call a gentle smile. Combining a gentle smile with eye contact and a simple nod of the head sends out a signal of approval that what you are hearing is resonating in you in some way--and will keep a conversation going and opportunities flowing.

The chance to make a new connection can come and go in the blink of an eye.

What if a random stranger within earshot of you starts talking about something you are passionate about? Knowing what to say after you say hello will give you the confidence to start conversations with strangers anywhere--even on an airplane! For example, not long ago I was on a flight when I heard two people chatting about a “TED-Talk” they were on their way to see. (TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design) After they finished their conversation I followed one of the gentleman back to his seat, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hello. Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation a moment ago. Do you mind if I ask you a question about something I heard you say?”

After chatting for about 10 minutes, we exchanged business cards and we both had a new business contact. Knowing what to say after “Hello” gave me the opportunity and confidence to “network at 30,000 feet.” Imagine what your potential could be using these small talk techniques over the course of a few hours at a networking event on terra firma.

Don Gabor
Conversation Arts Media 
www.dongabor.com 
don@dongabor.com
(718)768-0824

Do You Remember the Names of the People You Meet at Networking Events?

5 Seconds to Success: The Art of Remembering Names

"The sweetest sound in any language is a person’s name."

-- Dale Carnegie

9 out of 10 people admit they could use some help remembering people’s names. If you are one of them, the good news is you can master the art of remembering names if you learn a few easy techniques. I’ve taught this method at workshops where people ended up remembering 10, 15, even 20 names -- and the good news is all it takes is five seconds:

00:01 - 00:02 The number one reason people don’t remember names is that they don’t focus on the moment of introduction. When you are being introduced to someone, that person should be the most important person in the room. Don’t let thinking about what you’re going to say next drown out the person you are going to say it to.
 
00:03 Repeat the person’s name.

• It shows that you actually heard the person’s name and that makes a person feel good.
• Repeating the name helps you remember simply through repetition.
• It confirms that you understood the name correctly.

00:04 Think of somebody you know with the same name. This works 7 out of 10 times because in a room full of people, at least 70% of the names are going to be familiar. It could be a celebrity, a neighbor, member of the family or anyone. For greater success, try to reuse use the same association whenever you meet somebody with a particular name.

00:05  Make an extra effort to focus on the first letter of the person’s name. When meeting several people at once, the first initial is often a good way to hook names together because of the various acronyms and abbreviations in our language. For example, if I meet Dan and Robin, I’ve got D and R. If I simply remember that familiar abbreviation for “doctor,” I will be able to remember Dan and Robin.

Another helpful technique is to make a mental image of the first letter of the person’s name.

Golden Time Remember what Dale Carnegie said and use your new acquaintance's name throughout the conversation - and at the end of the conversation.

Use these tips and you'll see first-hand there is no faster or easier way to make a great first impression than to remember someone’s name. And all it takes is five seconds. 

For more information about having Don speak to your group or at your event please contact him at:

Don Gabor
Conversation Arts Media 
www.dongabor.com 
don@dongabor.com
(718)768-0824

How to Succeed the First Day on the Job Using Small Talk

Starting a new job is an exciting, but sometimes uncomfortable, experience. Most of your new colleagues will probably be friendly, but some may be less than welcoming or even hostile. Luckily, using small talk, it’s possible to overcome the awkwardness that everyone feels on the first day of a new job. In honor of the Tech and IT crowd, I’ve put together an FAQ on how to troubleshoot your way through your first day on a new job.

What if my new manager forgets to introduce me to my new coworkers?

Introduce yourself to everyone you’ll be working with as soon as you can. If you wait for others to introduce themselves, you’ll send a message that you are not eager to connect or that you lack the confidence to approach people you don't know.  

Sticking to yourself can also give the impression that you’re not friendly. That, by extension, may imply that you will not be a team player. And that, by extension, might mean that people will not be able to depend on you. There are a lot of negative and subtle implications or implied communications that may not be true, but will occur, if you do not take the initiative. So take an active role and be the first to engage your new coworkers.

What if, as soon as my manager leaves, my new colleagues begin to mock him or her, or start “trash talking”?

It’s common that people grouse about their bosses or their company. If you find yourself in that kind of conversation on your first day of work it’s best to remain quiet. You don’t want to open up a can of worms or get into a situation where you can be identified with somebody else’s problem. You could ask why they feel that way if you want to explore it a little bit, but it’s best to move the conversation into a more positive topic or direction by saying something like, “What do you like best about working here?”

What if you are a new manager?

As a manager you’re not going to be everybody’s friend, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be friendly. It’s important to quickly establish an open channel of communication, and that is where small talk plays an important role. It shows you are open and willing to talk to people and interested in getting to know who they are.

Once a manager attains that kind of rapport with an employee, it’s easier to assess the individual and how to best talk to him or her.

What should I do if someone I just met acts unfriendly?

There are some people who appear unfriendly when they are actually just shy. However, some people may be unfriendly because they feel threatened or uncomfortable meeting new coworkers. If a new colleague seems unfriendly, give him or her a little bit of latitude. It may take a little extra time for you to warm to each other.  But if you give people a little bit of room, not making any judgments about them right away, and you respond with friendliness, you might find that that they will be a little bit more open and willing to engage.  

Conversation is an asset that is inside us all. Tap into it to realize its many benefits like making friends — and in this case, starting your first day on the job the right way.

For more information about having Don speak to your group or at your event please contact him at:

Don Gabor
(718)768-0824
www.dongabor.com
don@dongabor.com



 

Networking for Techies

 

The IT crowd, techies, coders... all words synonymous with the tireless thinkers who have revolutionized modern life. While some of their greatest achievements may have taken place behind the scenes, today’s emphasis on social media and networking is prompting more and more technology workers to look beyond the science of information to the art of conversation, as an effective way to advance their careers.

Even so, such soft skills can be elusive to some people who have made a career using technology to make connections. The good news is these skills -- mastering the art of conversation and networking -- are really much easier than many people think. Below I list three tips to help get you started:

• Come prepared with topics. My first networking tip for anyone is to bring a variety of topics to the networking event, not just about code. Be prepared with some more informal topics, like what you enjoy doing in your free time. Current events are also good conversation starters, but avoid controversial stories that might lead to disagreements or unpleasant exchanges.  
 

• Don’t try to sell anything.  When you go to a networking event look for connections, not sales. Most people don’t go to networking events to buy things; they go to meet colleagues and potential clients. Position yourself as a resource to others, and they will want to connect to you.

• Explain how you help others.  Do you help them become more productive, or do you help the business grow their revenue? Do you help people save time, eliminate waste or use their existing resources better? By what mechanism do you help people achieve their goals?

Begin with these three tips and you will see a dramatic difference in the way others connect with you at company gatherings and networking events.

Master the art of conversation and you will see many benefits.

For more information about having Don speak to your group or at your event please contact him at:

Don Gabor
Conversation Arts Media
www.dongabor.com
don@dongabor.com
(718)768-0824

It’s Time to Sharpen Up Your Holiday Party Networking Skills

“Holiday parties can be more than just fun—they offer networking opportunities to boost your career, build your business, or even increase your revenue.

I recommends that you be an active networker at social and business holiday parties, but he cautions, “Don’t be a networking shark, non-stop talker or know-it-all. These annoying networkers turn off just about everyone.”

Other common networking mistakes include:

* Only chatting with your colleagues or friends. (This comes off as being cliquish and uninterested in others.)
* Waiting for others to approach you. (This makes you appear snobbish or unfriendly.)
* Bad-mouthing your competitors or grousing about your boss, coworkers or company. (No one wants to network with complainers.)

Finally, a common mistake—especially for those new to the workplace—is thinking that the office party is an opportunity to let down your hair and let it all hang out. Nothing can ruin a budding or even established career faster than cutting lose at the holiday office party in a way that has people saying, "Can you believe what ... said (or did) at the party?"

Are you with the media? If so request a review copy of How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends and book an interview with Don Gabor. Please contact him at 718-768-0824 or don@dongabor.com