Wednesday, October 29, 2008

3 Things You Must Immediately Do When a Relative Picks a Fight with You This Thanksgiving

No doubt about it –– there’s going to be some political fireworks between relatives this Thanksgiving. For those people whose candidates won, unbridled gloating will come especially easy. For the losers, predictions of doom and gloom will precede charges of cheating, voter fraud and –– if things get out of hand like they have a habit of doing after a few glasses of wine –– a litany of attacks on you, your candidate and the winning party.

Here are 3 things you must immediately do when your sore loser relative throws down the gauntlet.

1. Don’t react. Do nothing. Say nothing. Keep your face absolutely blank. This infuriates sore losers since their goal is to get you into an argument so they can vent their anger and prove to you that your vote was a horrible mistake.

2. Stay silent and give your relative your best-befuddled look as you shift your gaze upwards and shake your head from side to side. This body language says, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” This will drive them to distraction since they can’t fight with you if you don’t respond to their arguments.

3. Finally, let a big grin spread over your face as you let these honey-drenched words slip from your lips: “Well, you know what they always used to say in Brooklyn when the Dodgers lost? Wait’ll next year!” Then with toothy grin, change the topic to something completely unrelated to politics. Exasperated, your frustrated cantankerous relative will probably give up and go try to pick a fight with someone else. What a turkey!