Wednesday, January 21, 2009


“Hey, didn’t I see you on the cover of Cosmo (or Men's Health)?” "Are you a model?" or "Didn't we meet on a (nude) beach?" How many times have you heard (or said) corny opening lines like these? No question about it, they show chutzpa, but do they really impress others?

Probably not! Studies show that over 70% of face-to-face communication is non-verbal and your body language speaks before you do. So be sure to send the right kinds of silent signals before you open your mouth.

Here are four easy ways to attract others without words:

1. Make eye contact – This is usually the first non-verbal signal that shows interest. Hold the person’s gaze for a few extra seconds, but don’t stare.
2. Give a gentle smile – This is the second non-verbal signal that says you are friendly. No Cheshire cat grins, please!
3. Keep your arms unfolded – This non-defensive posture shows that you are receptive and open to contact.
4. Make your approach – Moving within 3 – 5 feet of the other person shows confidence and a desire to make contact.

Then the next steps are to:

• Break the ice naturally based on your surroundings.
• Get the other person talking with an easy-to-answer question.
• Build instant rapport and trust by exchanging background information.
• Introduce yourself and make a connection by identifying common interests.

Here are a few FAQs

Q: What's the trick to attracting people?
A: Show interest in others in a positive and natural way without being overly aggressive.

Q: Why do people get nervous when they talk to others they find attractive?
A: Trying too hard to impress others makes everyone uncomfortable. Just be yourself and keep your conversations light and easy.

Q What’s the key to being confident with someone you want to impress?
A: Be engaging and conversational by focusing on easy to talk about topics. Nothing heavy or too complicated.

Q: What do you say after you say hello and how do you keep the conversation going?
A: Listen for key words, phrases and "hot buttons" that call out for follow-up questions and comments. Talk about what interests you and the other person.

Q: When is the right time to introduce yourself?
A: The sooner the better. Introduce yourself withint he first few minutes or at the first pause in the conversation.

Keep this big point in mind when it comes to attacting's not just what you say, it's how you say it. Makw other feel that you care about their opinions, ideas and feelings and they'll find YOU more attractive.