Networking at 30,000 Feet Can Pay Off Big Time

If you are like a lot of road warriors you spend a lot of time in airports and on airplanes. But you can turn high-flying travel time into a goldmine for meeting new people and making valuable additions to your professional network. Here’s how:

When you first to board the plane take this opportunity to set a friendly tone with the passengers seated around you. Say hello to your neighbors as soon as they “move in.” This is an easy way to break the ice and establish how receptive they may be to conversation. If your seatmate cracks open a book or pulls out some work, be patient. Chances are, you’ll have an opportunity to chat later on in the flight.

If you get the green light to gab from the person, open the conversation with small talk. I often ask, “What takes you to …?” If I get a positive response I pursue it further.

For example, on a recent flight I said “Hello” to the passenger seated next to me and added, “I’m happy to be heading home! Which way are you going—home or away?” Her smile and friendly response, “I’m traveling for business,” was all I needed to continue the conversation. “What kind of business are you in?” I asked. She said, “Selling stuff but my real passion is mentoring girls and young women for scholarship pageants.” After I learned that the contestants have to make short speeches I said, “I’m a professional speaker. Maybe I can help your contestants.”

Through the course of our conversation, born from a simple “Hello,” we each made a business contact and expanded our professional network.

Here are some more tips for Networking at 30,000 feet:

       

• Say “Hello” to your seatmates right away.
• Show an interest in where they are going and who they are.

• Keep your conversation light—don’t try to push a business-related conversation until you know that he or she shares your business interests.
• Be patient and respectful if your seatmate appears busy or not interested in chatting.

• If you do share a business interest, introduce yourself and offer to exchange business cards.
• Keep your voices low. It never hurts to be even more courteous than usual—extra manners go a long way in tight spaces!
• Follow-up within a week via email, telephone or social media.

You never know who you are seated next to on an airplane until you start a conversation. Of course, every situation is unique and judgment plays a large role when you network at 30,000 feet. Some passengers plan certain tasks to do while they are in the air, and it would be rude to disturb them. But if you’re looking to network with other professionals there are few other places with a more diverse collection of business people than on an airplane...all waiting for you to say “Hello”!

Do you have a “networking at 30,000 feet” success story you’d like to share? If so, please use the comment box. If it’s good I might use it in my next book (and give you the credit!)

For more information about how Don Gabor can speak at your upcoming meeting please contact him at 718-768-0824 or don@dongabor.com.  

Don Gabor Conversation Arts Media Dongabor.com
Don@dongabor.com 
718-768-0824

IT Pros: How Can You Avoid Putting Your Foot in Your Mouth?

Let's face it--as a rule, IT pros are not known for their conversation prowess or tact. Techies like to say what's on their mind no matter who they are talking to or what situation they are in.

Chances are, you probably know a techie or two who have made big verbal blunders that left the people they were talking to--and everyone in the room--cringing.

Of course, there are the savvy IT Pros (the motivated ones who want to get ahead in their careers) who know that one way to avoid putting their foot in their mouth is to not bring up "taboo topics."

The most common taboo topics in polite conversation are:

• Politics, Religion, or Sex (The big three!)
• Gory news events
• Unfortunate personal issues or gossip
• Business Intelligence or Proprietary Information 

Yes, these topics are important and interesting. But they are best to avoid discussing in business and social situations simply because they can lead to arguments, bring conversation to a halt, make people uncomfortable, or all the aforementioned. 

What if you say the wrong thing?

If you are the one who has asked an uncomfortable question or brings up a taboo topic and you realize it, do everyone a favor and don’t press the issue. For example, if you made the mistake of asking about a job the person no longer has, don’t ask why. All that is needed is a simple “I’m sorry to hear that,” or “Are you looking for something else? What are you up to now?” 
 
If you find yourself embarrassed by a fleeting, tactless comment you have made off the cuff, don’t dig the hole deeper by ignoring the fact that you’ve just put your foot in your mouth. The best response is, “I’m really sorry, that was a thoughtless thing to say, I apologize,” and then change the subject. The idea is to acknowledge you said it and then move the topic of conversation to something more positive.

What if somebody asks you a question that makes you feel uncomfortable?

There are a couple of ways to handle uncomfortable questions. One is to be ready. If something unfortunate has happened in your life that you can anticipate people will ask about--losing your job, a divorce or a death in the family--be ready with some kind of response. Often it will suffice to give a short answer, and then move off the subject.

 
For example, "Yes, that was unfortunate, but I've moved on. So what have you been up to lately?"

Pumping a Competitor for Business Intelligence is a No-No!

Some IT Pros can be tactless especially when it comes to asking their colleagues about business intelligence. For example, if you are attending IT conference and someone from another company or competing business asks you some BI questions about your company's new server or proprietary software you can say, "Sorry but I really can't discuss that with you. It's confidential." If the person persists by saying, "Come on, you can tell me," you can respond with, "No, I can't. Like I said, it's confidential."

Saying “No” is an important assertive action when dealing with taboo topics because certain information is no one else’s business. You can feel good about being polite, yet firm.

Awkward conversations pop up in many social and business situations for IT Pros. To show your ability to navigate business and social situations, avoid bringing up taboo topics, and when uncomfortable exchanges do occur, gracefully redirect them to more positive and appropriate topics.

For more information about having Don speak to your IT department, meet-up group or at your upcoming event please contact him at:

Don Gabor
Conversation Arts Media
Dongabor.com
Don@dongabor.com
718-768-0824

What Do You Say After “Hello” at a Networking Event or Even on an Airplane?

The room is packed and the business cards are flying. Before you stands a potential client who fits perfectly into all of your target demographics. Knowing what to say after “Hello” to this person might make the difference between earning some valuable business and merely accumulating another business card.

The good news is that there are potential conversations all around you--if you are willing to take the risk and start the conversation. For example, if you are at a business networking event and happen to be near the food table you can ask “How’s that guacamole?” Or, if you are looking at the speaker’s promo materials you can ask, “What brought you to the event?” Working your way out from the food to the speaker to anything in the room is fair game for conversation.

Another useful technique for keeping a conversation interesting and fresh is the smart use of ritual questions. A ritual question is a commonly-asked question that is typically easy to answer like “Where do you live?” They are handy for a couple of reasons:

• They allow for other topics to be introduced into the conversation.
• They reveal supporting information about yourself to the other person.
• Answering ritual questions shows that you are willing to open up to the other person.
  

When it is your turn to answer a ritual question, consider it an opportunity to show you have a genuine interest in the other person by revealing some information that was not specifically asked about. This extra information is called free information and encourages follow-up questions and additional comments. 

For example, in response to the question “Did you grow up here?” which of the following two responses suggests that the speaker wants to engage with you?

A) “No.” or “Yes. ” or “Why do you want to know?”

B) “No, I grew up in ______________, but I’ve been living and working here for years and loving every minute of it.”

A good conversationalist will choose option B because it not only seems friendlier, but adding free information will give the other person multiple avenues to continue the conversation.

Body language is also a powerful ally to help keep a person engaged after you say hello. In the phrase book of body language, the most important is “eye contact.” If you do not make eye contact with a new acquaintance, it gives off the impression that you are distracted or have something to hide. People also relate to a person’s smile. It doesn’t have to be a big, Hollywood smile, but what I call a gentle smile. Combining a gentle smile with eye contact and a simple nod of the head sends out a signal of approval that what you are hearing is resonating in you in some way--and will keep a conversation going and opportunities flowing.

The chance to make a new connection can come and go in the blink of an eye.

What if a random stranger within earshot of you starts talking about something you are passionate about? Knowing what to say after you say hello will give you the confidence to start conversations with strangers anywhere--even on an airplane! For example, not long ago I was on a flight when I heard two people chatting about a “TED-Talk” they were on their way to see. (TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design) After they finished their conversation I followed one of the gentleman back to his seat, tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hello. Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation a moment ago. Do you mind if I ask you a question about something I heard you say?”

After chatting for about 10 minutes, we exchanged business cards and we both had a new business contact. Knowing what to say after “Hello” gave me the opportunity and confidence to “network at 30,000 feet.” Imagine what your potential could be using these small talk techniques over the course of a few hours at a networking event on terra firma.

Don Gabor
Conversation Arts Media 
www.dongabor.com 
don@dongabor.com
(718)768-0824

Networking for Techies

 

The IT crowd, techies, coders... all words synonymous with the tireless thinkers who have revolutionized modern life. While some of their greatest achievements may have taken place behind the scenes, today’s emphasis on social media and networking is prompting more and more technology workers to look beyond the science of information to the art of conversation, as an effective way to advance their careers.

Even so, such soft skills can be elusive to some people who have made a career using technology to make connections. The good news is these skills -- mastering the art of conversation and networking -- are really much easier than many people think. Below I list three tips to help get you started:

• Come prepared with topics. My first networking tip for anyone is to bring a variety of topics to the networking event, not just about code. Be prepared with some more informal topics, like what you enjoy doing in your free time. Current events are also good conversation starters, but avoid controversial stories that might lead to disagreements or unpleasant exchanges.  
 

• Don’t try to sell anything.  When you go to a networking event look for connections, not sales. Most people don’t go to networking events to buy things; they go to meet colleagues and potential clients. Position yourself as a resource to others, and they will want to connect to you.

• Explain how you help others.  Do you help them become more productive, or do you help the business grow their revenue? Do you help people save time, eliminate waste or use their existing resources better? By what mechanism do you help people achieve their goals?

Begin with these three tips and you will see a dramatic difference in the way others connect with you at company gatherings and networking events.

Master the art of conversation and you will see many benefits.

For more information about having Don speak to your group or at your event please contact him at:

Don Gabor
Conversation Arts Media
www.dongabor.com
don@dongabor.com
(718)768-0824

Small Talk at Reunions Causing You Grief?

If the thought of going to your high school or college reunion sends you running for cover, then consider this. Everyone changes over the years, so why worry if you’ve put on a little weight or lost some hair? The fact is that high school and college reunions are fun-filled social events that also offer many opportunities to gently network for business with people who share some of your history, and who are eager to hear your updated autobiography.

After years of not seeing old classmates, it’s easy to re-introduce yourself, find out what they do (or did) for a living, what they like to do now for fun, where they spend their time, efforts and money. Tell others the “short highlights” version what you’ve been doing for the last umpteen years with only a passing reference to any bad patches. As you listen and exchange information about your current activities, goals, children, hobbies and other pursuits, be sure to let these people know that you’re still in business and how you can help others achieve their goals.

As you reconnect with old friends and classmates, take mental notes of the people and their adult kids who went into businesses similar to your customers and clients. While these folks may be your target prospects during regular business hours, at the reunion they are old classmates first, and potential customers second. However, once the event is over, you can seek them out like you would any other potential customers.

Topics that Most People Like to Talk About at Reunions

Kids & family, Business, Retirement, Old & new projects, Hobbies, Travel, Personal passions, Old friends, Alumni organizations, Living one’s dream, sports, vacations, fitness, food, outdoor cooking, gardening, home renovations

Here are 7 Ways to Reconnect with Old Friends at Reunions

* Be ready to give a brief answer to "What have you been doing all these years?"
* Ask the person to join you for a cocktail, coffee or snack so you can have more time to talk.
* Reconnect over old interests and forge new connections with new interests.
* Reveal your new dreams and goals so your old friends still know what's important to you.
* Invite old and new friends to get-togethers outside the reunion's official events.
* Exchange more personal (but not too much!) information.
* Say how you are going to remain in contact, and then follow through on your promise.

Here are a few don’ts when you talk to people at reunions:

* Don’t brag about your accomplishments.
* Don’t tell your life story.
* Don’t downplay your business dreams.
* Don’t go into excruciating detail about your business.

How about a few easy opening lines at reunions. Remember it’s not so much what you say, it’s how you say it!

“So tell me, what have you been doing all these years?”
“Hi! I’m …. We were in the same class.”
“Do you know how I can get in touch with …?”
“I see that you live in … What’s it like there?”
“This is my first reunion and is it ever interesting!”
“I can’t begin to imagine how much work it must be to organize a reunion!”
“I found out a genealogy website that helps people find their long-lost relatives.”
“Do you know much about your family genealogy?”
“I’m thinking of organizing a family reunion. Do you know an organization who can help?”

Want to talk business at your reunion? Here are some conversational bridges to business topics.

“I read your bio in the reunion book and saw that you in the … business. I’m looking for someone who does what you do.”
“I’m a journalist. Have you heard any good reunion stories?”
“Do you know a hotel who can give our school a good rate for our upcoming reunion?”
“My oldest daughter is in your field. Do you mind if I give her your number?”
“Since we are in the same business, do you want to get together and compare notes?”
“It never occurred to me how big the reunion business is.”
“I want to create a family cookbook from our reunion. Do you know anyone in the publishing business?”

One more thing: Definitely avoid these “taboo topics”!

* rekindle old arguments * remind others of past indiscretions * gossip about old rivals * make remarks about cosmetic surgery, age, weight, hair (or lack thereof) * ask more than one question about a messy divorce * talk too much about oneself * flirt with an old flame who is happily married * bring up marital problems * tell sad personal stories * criticize the food or reunion organizers

Finally, go to have fun--and that's exactly what will happen! If you have any questions or want suggestions on what to say to a particular person at the reunion, email me at don@dongabor.com.

Making Office Holiday Parties Pay Big Off With Small Talk

Making Office Holiday Parties Pay Big Off With Small Talk

Networking at an office party with your peers can pay off with better working relationships, increased opportunities to move up in your company and make more new friends.

However, if you are like a lot of people in today’s large offices, you may not know many of the people who work on the same floor as you, only nod to those you pass in the hall, or silently ride in the elevator with them each day. Attending the holiday office party gives you permission to breakthrough that invisible barrier that often separates people at work and say hello, start a conversation, discover mutual interests and, hopefully, help one another, either directly or indirectly, achieve your goals.

Holiday office parties with clients provide even greater opportunities for meeting new prospects and deepening existing relationships. During the holiday party you can sincerely express your gratitude for your client’s business, chat about his or her future and discuss business challenges and projects for the coming year. Capitalize on your client’s holiday spirit and if you truly have provided value to your client over the past year, consider asking him or her for a referral, testimonial or advice about a particular goal or activity you wish to pursue.

While holiday office parties have a huge potential for achieving your networking goals, bear in mind that they are not social events, but rather slightly less formal business functions that follow the basic rules of business etiquette. In other words, never do or say anything at a holiday office party that you wouldn’t want your mother to know about or that you might have to apologize for the next day. In addition, although many people enjoy socializing at the holiday office party, most shy coworkers and clients generally dread having to attend this annual function, and are often only there out of obligation. Plus, there are some people, for one reason or another, that simply do not enjoy the holiday season. To effectively network with these people, keep your conversation light and low key so you can put them at ease as quickly as possible.

Topics that Most Networkers Like to Talk About at Office Holiday Parties

vacation plans, personal goals, projects, resolutions, family reunions, holiday and religious celebrations, food, music, sports and entertainment, past and future business projects, home renovations, unique gifts and charities, ways to celebrate

Taboo Topics in Office Parties

 gory crimes  war  political corruption  pollution  poverty  medical problems
 personal, money, family, job problems  sad stories  office gossip  poor management decisions  past over indulgences  pressuring bosses for a promotion or raise  hard-selling your side business products or services

If you have any questions, please contact me at 718-768-0824 or don@dongabor.com. For more information about how I can help you connect with people at home, work and everywhere in between, please visit my website at www.dongabor.com.